


Seven Stages of Falling in Love

by midorimortem



Category: One Piece
Genre: Brother-Sister Relationships, Brotherly Affection, Crushes, Denial of Feelings, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Lost Roronoa Zoro, Pre-Time Skip, Romance, Secret Crush, seven stages of grief but with a twist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-14 15:40:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29420985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/midorimortem/pseuds/midorimortem
Summary: Perona has never felt a crush as strong as the one she developed for Mihawk during the two years they spent living together. Zoro's departure to join his crew is coming closer, and Perona wonders if she should stick by Hawk Eyes' side and keep her secret, or if she should leave and let her feelings fade away with time.Zoro is a supportive young brother. Perona just wants to have some peace of mind for once. Mihawk is either oblivious, doesn't care at all, or he's very, very confused by the Princess' antics.
Relationships: Dracule Mihawk/Perona, Perona & Roronoa Zoro
Comments: 42
Kudos: 64





	1. The Shock (or in which Perona compares feelings to catastrophe)

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, there! Happy Valentine's Day! 
> 
> Double update for today! WOOHOO!! I have like 60% of this fic writen down and I wanted to upload it in one go, but I got sidetracked during the last few days and I've got the last three chapters pending, but... this has been such an enjoyable thing to write that I don't mind if it takes a little while longer to finish.  
> It depends on how long it takes me to finish the whole thing, but I might update twice per week.  
> I hope you like it!
> 
> (Not betaed or proofed, we die like Zoro's left eye!)

Realization did not come to Perona suddenly, but it wasn’t subtle either. It hit her as if someone had smashed her head and her heart with an old metal pipe and then repeated the process over, and over, and over again. Many things had to happen for her to notice that those bothersome feelings she’d been having recently were not a figment of her affection-starved imagination. Maybe they’d been at first, but after months of being unable to admit it, Perona began to notice it wasn’t just a crazy idea going around in her head.

Sweaty palms, strange stutters when talked to, twirling her hair unconsciously, dreaming of him every now and then, and imagining how it would feel to have those lips all over her… no, it wasn’t just her imagination. It took some time, but she eventually had to admit she had a big, fat, embarrassing crush on a man almost two decades older than her.

At times, the Ghost Princess wondered why she hadn’t fallen for the younger swordsman. Zoro wasn’t a bad man, and he was actually kind of good looking, if she was being honest with herself. Even if he was a few years younger and just as immature as her, Zoro wasn’t such a bad catch. At least her chances of her feelings to be mutual wouldn’t be so dim… no, she had to go and fall for the most obnoxious, boring and stone-faced old man in the entire world. But… he was also the most handsome, elegant and aesthetically pleasing man she’d ever seen. And no matter how much Mihawk and Zoro were similar to one another, Zoro couldn’t compare to _him_.

Her former captain and adoptive father would have never approved of such feelings. Moria had never been kind to Perona’s romantic interests, turning them into shadow puppets as soon as she showed a bit of concern for the washed up pirates and sailors that landed on the Florian Triangle. There weren’t many of them to begin with, and none had actually been very attractive, but she couldn’t help but look at them from time to time. Perona loved Master Moria’s protectiveness, but at times she also loathed it. And now, almost two years after parting ways with him, she resented him for it. Now that she was free and allowed to _feel_ … well, Perona had no idea what to do next.

When she landed on Kuraigana Island months ago and met Mihawk after he came back from battle, she believed him to be the most annoying, rude, yawn-inducing person she’d ever met, not to mention the least cute man she’d ever seen. She hated him, and she hated Roronoa too, who was just as rude and brutish as his new mentor. But as time went by and a few seasons came and went, she realized she had been quick to judge them.

Zoro had been a surprise. Behind his rude demeanor, he was actually a really kind, always lost boy. He was loyal to a fault and actually really funny. Perona liked to hear him talk about his crewmates and their adventure so far. When his eyes shone with excitement as he remembered everything they’d gone through, he even looked kinda cute. 

After some months of bantering non-stop, one evening he opened up and began to make small chat with her. As days went by, Zoro and Perona always sat down at the dinner table while Mihawk cooked and they talked until the food was ready. In no time, Perona knew everything about that really cute blue-nosed reindeer, and about that annoying pervy cook that pissed Zoro off so much. She believed she might have judged that long-nosed boy quite harshly and she hoped he became braver when he and Zoro met again. For a while, she wished she could make friends with both girls in their crew… but Perona could only dream. She knew her days as a pirate were most likely over and she would not be willing to risk her neck for the Straw Hat Pirates.

Perona grew quite attached to Zoro thanks to those little moments. She always cared for his wounds after his training sessions with Mihawk were over, because the warlord had little to no consideration for his apprentice’s wellbeing as long as he didn’t die. When the young swordsman was allowed to drink again, they would sneak a bottle out of Mihawk’s cellar and talk drunkenly for hours until one of them fell asleep. And when either of them grew lonely, the other was always there for company; even if it was quite intimate, they usually took naps together in either of the bedrooms, and it was a very peaceful time in which they’d not argue or banter. They’d just lay there, soothing each other to sleep.

But for all that Perona loved and trusted Zoro, she could not feel a single bit of physical or romantic attraction for him. He was like the little brother she’d never asked for, her new-found family. She’d found in Zoro what she had never found in Thriller Bark: a true friend who’d be there for her, no matter if she had strong powers or kept the island safe from strangers.

Mihawk, on the other hand… Mihawk was something else entirely. It took quite some time for her to break through him, but eventually even the warlord began opening up to her, though reluctantly at first. He wasn’t a nice man, Perona knew that for sure even after all that time. Beyond the first impression he’d left her, Mihawk wasn’t very pleasant to be around. He always made clear to tell her she wasn’t welcome and that if she wanted to stay, she’d have to earn her keep while living with him. But as months went by, she noticed one thing they had in common, and she couldn’t shake the feeling it was something special they shared: They were both very mean, but they both _cared_.

Zoro was very different from them. He wasn’t refined or good-mannered, but he wasn’t mean. Zoro was never cruel, though perhaps a bit insensitive from time to time. Mihawk, however, acted with such malice at all times Perona even wondered if he got some sort of rush out of it. She could see it while they trained, always putting Zoro on edge and taunting him, always leaving him badly wounded and battered. But after their session was done and while Perona cared for his wounds, she could see the worry in Mihawk’s eyes. He never apologized, though, not once.

With her it was just the same, though no violence was ever involved. They bickered and screamed at each other all the time, and Mihawk made sure to let her know how much she annoyed him, but the swordsman always cared for her well-being even more than Moria and the others from her crew ever did. 

He always made sure she ate three meals a day, that she never took way too many naps, and cared for her whenever she got sick. He had even begun to teach her some self defense tricks after a particularly nasty incident during a shopping trip. He'd not do any of that if he didn't care.

Perona wondered if her crush on him would eventually fade away. She thought that, perhaps, if she ignored her feelings long enough, she would stop feeling them altogether. But then again, it could be that they just got stronger form neglect and that she could actually fall in l-- 

_No! I won’t let that happen!_ , she scolded herself, blushing and looking away from where the warlord was preparing dinner for the three of them. _It’s just a crush, a stupid, stupid crush!_

“You look pale…” Zoro said, shaking a hand in front of her to catch her attention. They had been playing cards for a while, but she hadn’t played her turn for almost five minutes. “You alright?”

Perhaps it was best not to bottle it up. She blinked a couple of times and nodded, but just afterwards she shook her head. No, she wasn’t right. Perhaps Zoro could help.

“What’s wrong?” 

“Not here. Just follow up…” she told him, trying to hide the blush from her cheeks. “Hey, Hawk Eyes, we’re almost out of wine. Mind if we go down to the cellar for another bottle?”

“No, please go.” He answered without looking back at them, but his tone was alarmed as if it was a national emergency that they were running out of his favorite beverage. “Bring a Dresrossian harvest while you’re there.”

“Yup, got it. Come, Zoro, help me carry them.”

Zoro followed her steps and she made sure not to go through the walls so he’d not get lost on his way to the cellar. It took quite a long time to get to the lower floor of the castle, but Perona always enjoyed visiting the wine reserves of their landlord. Mihawk was not much for decorations and personal items, but the cellar was an addition entirely made by him.

“Spill the beans. What’s wrong?”

“Please don’t laugh at me.”

“Talk.”

“Don’t be such an insensitive idiot! This is hard for me! I… I don’t even know how to talk about it.”

“That bad, huh?” Zoro said, sitting on an empty barrel and patting the one besides him for her to join him. She hopped and rested her head on his shoulder, furrowing. She was so angry at herself.

“I… I have a crush.” She finally let out, grunting and blowing off air to remove some hair from her face.

“Ok, there are very few humans on this island. I'm a little worried. It’s not one of the humandrills, right?”

“You’re such an idiot!”

“Is it me?”

“...no”

The two of them kept silent for a while. Zoro grabbed a random bottle from the closest stand and cut it open with a short knife he carried around at all times now, ever since he had grown accustomed to being ambushed by the monkeys and Mihawk at random times.

“Since when?”

“I don’t know. A couple of months, maybe.”

“Does he know?”

“Of course he doesn’t! I don’t even think he cares!”

“That’s not the issue. The problem is you do.” Zoro drank from the bottle without a care in the word and rested his head against the wall. “You’re aware he’s twice your age, don’t you?”

“I’m older than you!” She complained, but then she sighed with a rough voice and nodded. “Yes, I know he’s quite older, but… that doesn’t change a thing. I… I have these feelings I cannot ignore and they bother me so much!”

“Say it.”

“What? why?”

“It will help you. Just say it.”

“... but what for?”

“You’ll not bottle it up and you’ll lose the shame of knowing it’s just a stupid crush.”

“Well… I… I have a crush on Mihawk.” Perona didn’t like how that sounded. She hated it! She slapped both hands against her mouth and shook her head with disgust, retching.

“And how do you feel about it?”

“It makes me angry! He’s awful and not cute!” Perona pouted, puffing her cheeks.

“Will you tell him?”

She kept silent, but then she shook her head.

“There’s no use in doing that, you know? He’ll just play fool and ignore me.”

“Then what do you plan to do?”

“Live with it until either of us dies, I guess.”

“I think you should tell him, eventually. He’s not as bad as he seems.”

“The guy almost kills you on a daily basis, Zoro!”

“I know. But he cares. If he didn’t, he’d not take me seriously and he’d go easy on me at all times. Or he’d not train me at all. He’s weird, but he’s not a bad man.” Zoro handed her the bottle and Perona took a swing off it. “Besides, you should think about this… I’m leaving in a few months. You will come back to him, won’t you? Then, it will just be the two of you.”

“Damn it, mosshead, I hadn’t thought of that!” She cried, taking another long sip of wine.

“What’s the worst that could happen? He’s not going to cut you down or throw you out of his house just because you have feelings for him.”

“What would you do if I told you I liked you?”

“I don’t pay much mind to those things. I guess I’d be flattered, but it’d be just the same.”

“That’s exactly what I’m afraid of. Nothing would change, nor him, nor I…”

“Then you should change, if it makes you feel better. Who knows? He might like that.”

Perona chuckled and stood from the barrel, then she looked for the bottle she had promised to bring upstairs. She shook her head and turned back to face Zoro before going back to the kitchen.

“I won’t change myself for a man. Not now, not in a hundred years. Not even if he’s the World’s Greatest Swordsman or a tasteless monkey.” She stood as tall as she could, frowning. “If he can’t like me for who I am, then I won’t like him anymore. As simple as that.”

Zoro smiled, cocking his head to the side and following her upstairs, or he’d get very lost before dinner. At times he wondered if she liked herself as much as she bragged about it. Perhaps what she needed was to accept the changes coming out for her. Perhaps Hawk Eyes was the perfect man for that, but only time would tell.


	2. The Denial (or in which Zoro tries his best and gets lost)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Perona is being insufferable and Zoro tries to make her stop, to no avail. Mihawk gets really angry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm currently half-way done with chapter 6, so I guess it's safe to say I will be updating on Wednesdays and Saturdays. This story has been real fun and cute to write! And, as always, MihoPero keeps me going during these trying times uwu
> 
> As ever, not properly proofed nor betaed. Let me know about any obvious mistakes.

Perona had been acting brattier than usual. She was louder, meaner and, overall, more annoying than she typically was. Not only did she demand constant attention, but she complained neither of the resident swordsmen knew how to cater to her childish wishes. And whenever that happened, Zoro could see a vein popping on Mihawk’s temple, but his master made the best of his efforts not to get angry at her, to stop the harrowing migraine burning his skull from screaming and hurting her either with words or blades.

But at some point, even Mihawk had enough. She was being especially unpleasant to Mihawk that evening and Zoro wouldn’t be amazed if she got kicked off the castle for overstepping her boundaries. The young straw hat pirate couldn’t understand why she was being so obnoxious when she had openly confessed she had feelings for the older man. He had imagined she’d mellow and act all lovey-dovey around him, trying to catch his attention. He imagined she might even get a little flirty, trying to get her way, but no. For days, Perona had been insufferable and had been acting as if nothing had happened. As if she felt nothing. As if the past twenty two months living together hadn’t passed by.

Zoro pulled her away, tugging from her arm as she floated around, twisting and turning while whimpering about how much she worked her ass off around the house -which was an obvious lie- and how unthankful they both were to her. She cried, annoyed at Zoro’s bluntness, but the young swordsman ignored her and pulled her inside the pantry, away from Mihawk’s murderous glare.

“What’s gotten into you?!” He asked, forcing her to land on her feet with a tug on her ankle. Perona pouted and frowned, about to throw a tantrum, but Zoro smacked her forehead with a finger and the woman began to wail.

“You’re such a mean, mean boy! That 's not nice!”

“No, it’s not nice to be an insufferable brat! What’s happening to you?!”

“Nothing! It’s just that you two have been particularly unpleasant as of late! I’m sick of it!”

“Unpleasant? I have been doing all of your chores this week! Maybe Hawk Eyes has been unpleasant, but why do I have to stand being treated like crap too?” He complained, leaning down to glare at her in the most intimidating way possible. “Besides… weren’t you supposed to be in love with him or something like that? I thought you’d be a little nicer, or…”

“I AM NOT IN LOVE!” She screamed, and then slapped her hands against her mouth, perhaps scared of being heard by the man outside. “I am not in love with him!” She repeated, this time in an angry whisper.

“So this is what it’s all about, eh?” He asked with a mocking, shit-eating smile. “Well then, keep denying it as much as you want, but your feelings won’t go away just like that. And be angry at him as long as you want, but that won’t make it easier for you. Just… don’t take it out on me as well.”

“I didn’t ask for your opinion, you idiot! Idiot Zoro, idiot!”

“Yeah, yeah, take these to the kitchen and shut up.” He said, tossing a sack of pasta at her. He opened the door for her, making a gesture to let her go through. As if she needed it! Perona thought, and vanished across the wall, leaving the sack behind. Zoro grunted and carried it on his arm, following behind her.

However, when he turned right to get back into the kitchen, Zoro found himself standing in the living room, Perona nowhere to be seen. He’d gotten lost, yet again. He breathed in deeply and hoped things didn’t get too sour in his absence, then he began running through the hallways, sack of grains over his shoulders, in hope of finding his way back into the kitchen.

It took him half an hour to find the right path, and what he found in the kitchen was far from pleasant. Zoro dropped the sack the moment he stood on the doorframe, placing one hand on the hilt of his sword and assumed a guarding stance without unsheathing, waiting. A heated argument unfolded before his eyes, in which both Mihawk and Perona screamed at each other as if either one of them had insulted the other’s mother. 

Zoro gulped, his hand hesitant over the hilt. They were so deep into their angry conversation that they didn’t notice he was standing right in front of them. He would lie if he said he wasn’t worried, because Mihawk was no man to mess with, and Perona was being specially annoying to him on purpose. He also knew he wasn’t dumb enough to fight Mihawk in a room full of knives and sharp objects laying in every cabinet, yet he had to protect his friend in case the warlord lost his temper.

“That’s enough!” Mihawk exploded, louder than either Zoro or Perona had ever heard him. “You come into _my_ house, you drink _my_ wine, eat _my_ food, and yet you have the _nerve_ to demand my hospitality? I have no obligation to even be remotely nice to you, lady.”

“At least you could try to be a decent human being for once!” She screamed back, not a single trace of fear in her voice, but she was getting more furious and desperate at each exchange they had. “I try to play my part! I cook, I bake, I clean after my own mess!”

“You do none of that!” Mihawk said, and Zoro had to give that one to him. “You’re a good- for-nothing, spoiled child!”

Perona was a good cook, but more than usual she made more food than necessary and she didn’t clean a single dish, or she only cooked for herself. Her room was always messy and most of the time either him or Mihawk ended up picking up her clothes from the common bathroom and ordered her around to clean after herself. When they first settled down at the castle, Perona had picked up a large room all to herself with a separate full bathroom to have more privacy. As expected, the bathroom was not usable, being abandoned for decades it had mold and rust in each and every corner. She kept saying she’d fix it, but she never did.

In retrospective, Perona was a terrible roommate.

“I am NOT a child! Stop calling me that! How many times do I have to tell you I’m almost 30?!”

“THEN FUCKING ACT LIKE IT!” Mihawk screamed and picked a knife up from the table. Zoro unsheathed one of his swords and Perona whimpered in surprise, but he simply began slicing tomatoes furiously and throwing them violently into the casserole atop of the stove. “I am NOT your father, I am NOT your nanny, HELL, I’m not even your friend! I have no reason to care or look after you. If you want to keep that annoying head over your shoulders you better stop being such a nuisance or I’ll cut you Perona, you’ve been warned.” 

“Are you threatening me, Hawk Eyes?!”

“That is exactly what I’m doing. Piss me off one more time and…”

“And what?! You’ll kill me and throw my body to the monkeys?! If you wanna get rid of me why don't you just throw me off?!” She cried, actual tears spilling from her face. “You hate me so much you’d rather kill me than talk to me, or even tell me when I’m being annoying! Flash news, I don’t _notice_ when I’m acting like that! You just get pissed off and scream at me! Don’t act like it’s all my fault! You treat me like I’m dog shit or something and you _expect_ me to act all lady-like and be a good guest in your house, but I cannot do it when I clearly know I’m not wanted here! I don’t want to be a guest, I want this to be my home, but you clearly don’t want me here!”

“Yes, you’re right. I don’t want you here.” He said coldly. Perona whimpered, trying to hold back her tears. She shook her head and drifted away, vanishing through the wall. She didn’t come back.

Mihawk sighed, letting the knife down and groaned in desperation.

“You can sheath that sword, Roronoa, I wasn’t going to hurt her.”

“You looked like it.”

“Took you long enough. Give me the pasta and, for heaven’s sake, don’t speak too loud.” He said, holding the side of his head to keep his migraine at bay. 

“Don’t play coy, Hawk Eyes, she’s got a point. You’re particularly nasty to her when you get angry.”

“I _know_ she’s got a point, please shut up.”

“Then why don’t you kick her out? I’m sure she can find herself another crew or a place to crash.”

Mihawk grimaced, but he looked like he was anxious to find the answer himself. His frown deepened and he shrugged, tossing some of the pasta into the boiling water.

“She’s got no one. Her captain is likely dead already and her ship is probably sinking. She is a good-for-nothing woman, so I can only guess she won’t make it on her own.”

“Yeah, she probably wouldn’t.” Zoro admitted, helping his mentor with stirring the sauce with a wooden spoon. “But… that can only mean you do care about her.”

The older swordsman didn’t turn around to face his apprentice, but his golden irises flashed with murder as he eyed Zoro with disdain. In return, he chuckled and raised his hands in defeat, shaking his head. 

“Woah, chill down, Hawk Eyes! It’s not like I said you like her or something. Y’know? It’s not bad to feel compassion or sympathy for others.”

“I guess I feel pity.” He sighed and the pair remained silent for a couple of minutes until the pasta was ready. Mihawk served three plates and stopped to draw a map on a napkin, then handed it to Zoro. “I will apologize later. Take this to her and… don’t tell her I said anything. Please make sure it arrives warm.”

Zoro smiled mostly to himself, but nodded and walked away from the kitchen, careful not to take a wrong turn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr: [ Main blog ](https://midorimortem.tumblr.com)  
> [ MihoPero Side blog ](https://ghosts-and-swords.tumblr.com)


	3. The Guilt (or in which Perona finds it’s good time for a change)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quite a short chapter, but on time as promised.  
> I have been very pleased there's a lot of recent MihoPero content on twitter. Serotonin good.
> 
> As always, barely revised, not proofed, we die like Pedro.

Perona had been crying for so long her cheeks had become stained with mascara and tears. She’d barely eaten scraps and felt really dehydrated, both for crying and lack of sufficient water. She couldn’t remember when was the last time she’d taken a proper bath, other than staying for hours on the cold water until her body went numb. 

She shouldn’t feel so bad for what Mihawk said to her. She shouldn’t have reacted like that, and the fact that he had hurt her deeply didn’t change a thing. She knew she was stronger than this, and words couldn’t really hurt her. But, damn, did they sting. Perhaps if she didn’t feel like she did for him they wouldn’t burn so much, but they did.

Zoro was leaving in less than a month and she was in charge of taking him to Sabaody, or else he’d end up lost at open seas. She didn’t want to move from her room and yet she had promised her dear friend she would take him, so she better make herself a bit presentable before going out. Facing him and the older swordsman wouldn’t be easy, but she had to do it.

She dragged her feet towards her still-under-repairs private bath and cleansed the ruined makeup from her face, careful not to rub so hard that it would leave her skin reddened from friction. Even if she was being extra careful in her bathing routine, she didn’t like what she saw when she looked at herself in the mirror. Her beautiful, long pink hair was such a mess it didn’t look nice anymore. Her big, black eyes were dull and tired, ridden with dark bags beneath her long eyelashes. Perona hadn’t worn lipstick for two weeks straight and her lips looked chapped and dry, and her teeth had begun to turn yellow for lack of better hygiene. 

She hated it. The self-hatred she felt at the moment helped her get the motivation to fix herself up and comb her hair, take a proper bath and cleanse herself to the best of her abilities. For the first time in weeks, she let herself enjoy a warm bath and got out before the water began to wrinkle her fingers, climbing out of the tub at the right moment. 

She wrapped herself in a towel and began combing her hair as soon as she felt it began to dry, ready to tie it up in her classic twintails with her colorful bows and pins. Her comfy but cute, fashionable clothes were a few steps from the bathroom, nicely folded in her closet at her room. 

But… for some reason, Perona didn’t want to look at herself in those clothes and that hairdo at the moment. She sighed, combing her hair in many different ways, changing it, twisting it and braiding it, but nothing seemed to please her. She didn’t like it anymore. She thought about cutting it, to hold her scissors and trim it up to her chin, but… she didn’t want that, not really. She just didn’t want to have those stupid twintails that made her look like a child anymore.

She could deal with her hair later. Fuming, still very angry at herself, Perona wandered towards her walk-in closet and searched around for something nice to wear. The best way to get out of a foul mood was to wear something cute. But no matter where she looked, she hated every piece of clothing she grabbed. She had a great fashion sense, but no combination she picked seemed to satisfy her. And she was starting to get cold, walking around in her underwear, barefoot over the stone-cold floor.

“Ok, calm down… what do you want?” She told herself, walking in circles as she embraced herself. “You’re angry he called you childish. Then, let’s look for something that doesn’t look childish!”

She began to run her hands through the clothes, picking stuff up and down from the drawers and the hangers, noticing that indeed she could pick many garments that weren’t childish at all. In her anger, she had unwillingly let out a few smiling ghosts that now hovered around her with worried, silly faces, as if they wondered why their master was in such a nasty mood. But she wasn’t paying much attention to her lovely, cute ghosts. If she did, she’d probably become even more annoyed at herself.

“This frilly skirt looks nice, and this blouse… but no, I can’t combine stripes and dots, that’s horrible!” She then stopped, and threw all the pieces of clothing away from her, more angry than she had been since earlier that morning, when she had accidentally dropped her toast to the floor and then decided she didn’t want to eat anymore. “Why am I doing this?! That idiot swordsman doesn’t care if I look less childish or if I look like a grown up woman! He doesn't care! Why should _I_ care?! Fuck him, fuck him and his stupid, boring castle!”

Perona remembered telling Zoro something along those lines some weeks ago, while they were hiding in the wine cellar and he confessed she’d been having unwanted feelings for their landlord. 

**__** _I won’t change myself for a man… If he can’t like me for who I am, then I won’t like him anymore._

She truly believed those words she’d told her friend. She’d rather stop having those stupid feelings than change who she was for Mihawk to like her. But the truth was, she didn’t like herself that much, not after she’d meditated for long why did Mihawk’s words had stung so badly. Surely she’d never stop loving cute, adorable things. She’d never stop being loud, intense and passionate. She’d never stop looking for fun and comfort as much as she could, but she didn’t like being treated like a child. 

Perona knew she was really immature. She was spoiled and she threw tantrums like there was no tomorrow. She screamed and at times she was really improper and bothersome, and she really hated being like that. No one had ever put a halt on her in Thriller Bark. But here, it was different. It was very different being lazy than being comfortable. Here, being lazy meant being useless. And being useless usually meant there was a chance of getting ambushed, starving to death or suffer a freak accident at any moment.

She could afford to be herself, always. But she could not remain a spoiled brat. Perhaps she didn’t want this change for Mihawk to like her, but she wanted it for herself. If she could make a living in such a gloomy, terrible place as Kuraigana, she could make it anywhere.

Almost naked as she was, she stared at herself in her floor-mirror and liked a lot better what she saw. Her body was a bit unkempt, but she was healthy. She had no scars and her freckles were mostly invisible since she’d not exposed herself to the sun for a while. Her breasts, one of the body parts that made her feel really sexy, looked fine in the bra she had lazyly picked earlier. Her collarbones looked nice too, and her pink bat tattoo looked really outstanding like that. She loved herself. And no man could change that, not even Hawk Eye Mihawk. 

Her hair had begun to dry up and it had curled up nicely behind her back. It looked nice like that, loose and curled, her bangs slightly swept to each side. The improvised look gave her an idea: Perona braided a pair of locks on the front, framing her face, and picked up some more hair into a messy bun. With her hot iron she usually used to straighten her hair, she curled her locks on the back a little bit more carefully. The hairdo looked really nice. She seemed more adult, and the makeup she picked for her new makeover was a lot simpler, still consistent of black eyeliner and red lipstick but less dramatic.

“Now, what to wear?” She asked herself, turning around to watch the pile of clothes she had discarded earlier in her anger, only to find that, atop of the pile, a long, black and white ruffled skirt combined really nice with a black corset she’d bought at some point, which was decorated with a pair of white crosses from top to bottom. She squealed, then turned around on her heels to search for a black top hat she’d crafted herself and decorated with fresh white roses she’d picked from the garden a few weeks back.

“Why, this is perfect!” She thought, beaming.


	4. The Anger  (or in which Mihawk is an insensitive idiot)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Perona feels pretty. Zoro is a good younger brother. Mihawk is an idiot who discovers he may or may not have abandonment issues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's 12:40 am, which means its already Wednesday and a good time for an update. (A terrible time for my sleeping schedule, but ain't nobody got time for that).

“Woah.” Zoro said with a smile on his lips as Perona walked into the living room. He wasn’t one to act like the stupid ero-cook, but he purposedly wolf-whistled at her. Perona giggled and spun on her heels for him to watch her new makeover completely. “You look nice.”

“I know, right?!” She said, smiling and hovering slightly from the ground. Her silly ghosts wandered and coiled around her, showing her excitement like they always did when Perona became overjoyed. “I _feel_ nice, for a change!”

“That’s good to hear.” The young swordsman said, pulling out a chair for her to sit, then he returned to his resting spot at the sofa. “You got me worried. I hadn’t seen you in three weeks since the incident and I thought you weren’t eating.”

“I was doing terrible, but I decided it was time to stop. I ate just enough, thanks for worrying and leaving food out for me. You left them at the right door most of the time, that's good!” She crossed her legs and took a bite from the hot bagel one of the smiling ghosts had brought from the kitchen. “I promised I’d take you to Sabaody at the end of the month and I am always true to my word.”

“Yeah, thanks in advance… I didn't think you'd take what Hawk Eyes said so seriously.”

“No, screw that guy. I told you I’d not change one bit for anyone but myself.”

“Huh, that’s weird. I’d swear the colors and the crosses and the hat and all that fit quite nicely into his dramatic goth aesthetics.” Zoro mocked her, scratching his belly as he rested his head on his other arm and tried to resume his nap.

“It’s just a mere coincidence, mosshead.” She said, raising from her seat and floating around to the kitchen to grab herself a cup of hot cocoa with little marshmallows. “By the way, are you gonna need anything for the trip? I can make you lunch or something.”

“Don’t worry. I will meet with my friends there and the cook will surely make something nice to celebrate.”

“I’ll check on your clothes before we leave, anyway, to see if anything needs parching or stitching.”

“Why are you being so nice?”

“Can’t I be nice to my little brother?”

“ _Perona_ surely can’t. Who are you, lady?”

“Dummy.” She said, waving her hand in dismissal as she made her way back to her chair and knocked her feet over the tea table, enjoying her favorite drink and snack.

“I’m gonna miss this,” Zoro admitted. “Not the ambushes and the daily mortal peril, but…”

“Yeah, I’ll miss you too. But I’ll send you letters. Make sure to tell someone on your crew to read them to you, or better start to learn how to read soon.”

“Ah, yes, there’s the mean girl I know.”

Zoro remained silent for a while, wondering where the old man had gone. He hadn’t seen him all day and he’d left to bed earlier last night, saying he had something important to do. He’d be leaving in a couple of days and, though Mihawk was still technically his mortal enemy, he was grateful he’d mentored him for two entire years. He’d hate to leave without saying goodbye. 

On the other hand, he worried about leaving them alone. She hadn’t talked about her plans after dropping him at Shakky’s bar, but Zoro was certain she’d come back, because she had nowhere else to go. Perona might look changed, but deep down she was still the same annoying brat she’d always been, unless something had clicked on her after her fight with Mihawk. Knowing Perona, she was just throwing a different kind of tantrum.

“Say…” he said, startling her. Perona had believed he’d fallen fast asleep again, but he wasn’t. “You’re coming back?”

“I have some things I have to do, but… yeah. Unless Hawk Eyes physically throws me out, I plan on sticking like a thorn to his side.”

“You like him that much, eh?”

“Shut up, stupid swordsman.”

“You’re blushing.”

“ _Yi liki him thit mich, ih? Yi’ri blishing._ ” She mimicked him with a high-pitched, squeaky voice and rolled her eyes, then she stuck her tongue out. Zoro was impressed she could even speak in a more jarring tone.

“That’s very childish coming from you, lady. Adults are supposed to act like it”

“Don’t tell me what to do, idiot.”

“Are you fighting again?” Mihawk’s voice interrupted their banter. Zoro startled a bit, but Perona almost jolted out of her own body. “Shouldn’t you be packing for the trip?”

“I’ll do it later tonight. Shopping trip?”

“Something like that.” He said nonchalantly and walked past them into the kitchen, carrying a large bag on his back and a wicker basket in his hands. 

He didn’t even pay Perona any mind. Zoro opened his one good eye and waited to see her reaction, and he didn’t like what he saw. She retracted to herself as if she’d been expecting to be slapped, tears pooling in her dark eyes. She tugged at her hat and whimpered.

“Hello? We haven’t spoken for weeks and I don’t even deserve your attention?” She exploded. Zoro didn’t move from his couch but waited, expectant to jump in front of her to stop another dangerous banter. He wasn’t impressed Mihawk was being a dick to her, but he remembered he said he was going to apologize. Now he understood why Perona sounded so hurt, since Hawk Eyes hadn’t even dared to speak to her since the incident.

He slowly turned around, tossing the bag towards the kitchen and leaving the basket down on the counter, but he barely stood on the doorframe without speaking for almost a minute. Mihawk seemed lost for words, and, for once, Zoro believed he was slightly uneasy. Not nervous, Mihawk was never nervous. He was just not feeling quite as confident to talk back to a clearly very angered woman who had, technically, done nothing wrong that evening.

“The hat is new.”

_Damn it, Hawk Eyes, way to go._

Perona stood from her seat and let her cup and half a bagel down at the table, then she hovered away into the hall and disappeared from sight. Zoro was afraid she’d lock herself up for another couple of weeks, or he’d lose his navigator and never make it into Sabaody. The young swordsman threw a nasty look towards his master and began to run after the girl, but Mihawk’s desperate sigh made him stop before going up the stairs to follow her.

“I am a terrible man.”

“Yes, you are.”

Mihawk waved at him to go fetch after her. 

“Make sure she comes down for dinner.”

“You know what… no.” Zoro said, defiant. He put his foot down from the stairs and walked back to his couch. After he laid down again, he simply grunted. “Go talk to her, I’m not gonna fix your old married couple fights.”

“Old married…? No, you’re right.” Mihawk said, shaking his head and placing his coat down, ready to probably get slapped for being mean.

“Hawk Eyes, I know she’s annoying, but please don’t hurt her. She doesn’t deserve it.”

Mihawk simply grunted and Zoro didn’t know if he had chosen to ignore him or if he had taken his words too seriously. Hoping he didn’t get to hear things crashing and metal clanking, Zoro closed his eyes and drifted to sleep one of his last naps at Kuraigana.

* * *

“Let me in.”

“Go away!”

“Let me in!”

“I don’t want to see you.”

“Then I’ll talk through the door.” Mihawk said, resting his back against the cold stone wall outside of Perona’s chamber. “I wanted to apologize. For today and for what happened days ago. I was rude.”

“Rude is an understatement. You were very mean.”

“Yes, I was. But you were purposely being too annoying to me.” Perona didn’t answer back, and Mihawk considered that one a victory. “I don’t want you out of the castle.”

Perona thought about opening the door, but she was too angry to even move from her bed at the moment. Yet, his words lifted a weight from her shoulders. She sighed, but still she didn’t move.

“But you don’t want me here either.”

Mihawk groaned and clenched the bridge of his nose. She seemed to have a special ability to make his head hurt in the blink of an eye, but he tried to keep calm and not get angry. She was rightfully angry, and he knew he could make it worse if he got furious too.

“No. But I’m not as heartless as to leave you stranded. If you ever find a place to go back, then I will ask you to leave. But if you don’t, I don’t have any reason to kick you out.”

“I don’t know if I should be insulted or not.”

“Take it as you may, but you’re welcome to stay in the castle even if Roronoa leaves.”

“I’m still not sure if I will.” She lied. Perona knew she was going to. She wanted to. And she had nowhere else to go. “I have to check on some things and I’m taking a chance after dropping Zoro at Sabaody. I… I don’t know if I will return.”

For once, Mihawk didn’t know what to say. The silence grew awkward, but Perona waited patiently for him to break it. He didn’t. She could still feel him standing behind the door, but he made no sound. She grew slightly worried.

On the other side, Mihawk wondered. He knew Zoro was leaving and had already made up his mind to go back to his usual lifestyle without the training sessions and without finding the young swordsman lost at random places. He had adjusted the monthly budget to remove Zoro’s usual expenses and how much food and drink they were going to need for each shopping trip he made. But he had not considered removing Perona from the equation too. He had simply assumed she’d come back, that she’d remain. And for the first time in perhaps his entire life, Mihawk didn’t rejoice in the possibility of being left completely alone.

Surely she was annoying. Surely she never kept her mouth shut. Surely she was messy, childish and lazy. But she was funny, light-hearted and, though cruel at times, she was very kind and thoughtful. Mihawk noticed, at the sights of possibly never seeing Perona again, that he’d miss her greatly. Zoro was his apprentice, but he was also his adversary. At some point, they’d meet again and there was a great chance Zoro might either die by his sword, or claim his life with his. But losing Perona meant he would probably lose her forever. And he didn’t like it one bit.

“Come back.” He finally said. He didn’t know why he said it or why it bothered him so much that there was a chance she wasn’t coming back.

“I’ll think about it.”

“Then have a drink with me. I brought some things to make Roronoa a parting gift of sorts, a simple dinner for three. But… if you’re leaving too, at least have one last drink with me.”

“Why don’t we share the drink at Zoro’s dinner, then?”

“No. Just you and I.”

Perona swallowed hard. She stood from the bed and opened the door.

“And what, then? You expect me to forgive you just because you’re asking me out for a drink?” She exploded, letting out the angry words that had been stinging in her heart and her tongue for days. “Am I to just go on with the plan and accept your apology because you suddenly realized you were being a dick to me?"

“No. I plan to make up at least a bit for how insensitive I was to you. So that if you decide to come back, we can be on better terms. But...”

“Ah, of course there’s a ‘but’!!”

“Listen.” He said, slightly exasperated. “If you want to come back, you’re more than welcome. But since Roronoa won’t be here anymore, we need to lay down some new rules. Or we will drive each other mad in no time.”

“I guess you’re right. But you’re assuming I _will_ come back.” She bluffed, but Perona knew it was an act. Mihawk didn’t need to know that, anyway.

“In that case, at least leave the island without being mad at me and thinking I was an unpleasant host. And let me remember you without being an insufferable child.”

“You’re supposed to be apologizing, Hawk Eyes!” She screamed and Mihawk flinched slightly.

“Yes, yes, I forget, excuse me! Please lower your voice.” He sighed, but then he shook his head. “Let me rephrase that. Let me remember you as a friend and a good guest at my castle.”

“That sounds much better. Ok, fine. Tomorrow night. _And_ , we will prepare Zoro’s dinner together on Saturday, no complaints. At least we can pretend to like each other for a weekend before I leave.”

“When are you planning to leave?”

“If the weather’s right, on Monday at sunrise. It will take us about a couple of weeks to get there if he wants to make it on time.” She rested her weight against the doorframe and frowned. “Then I plan to go back to Thriller Bark. I want to see what’s been of the island and if I can find any trace of my old crew.”

“Ah. That means that you plan to go back to Gecko Moria if you find him.”

“You don’t sound so pleased.”

“I never liked your captain.”

“Yeah, he hated you too. My plan is to join him or… who knows.” Perona said, clearly concerned her captain was as dead as the rumors had been telling for the past two years. “From Sabaody, it would take me around another two weeks to go to the Florian Triangle. If I were to come back it'd be...”

“In about a month and a half.” Mihawk said, making a quick guess. Perona nodded.

“Be honest. You really believe we won’t go nuts living alone together?”

“We can only find out if you come back.”

Perona smiled. She could not hide her blush, but at that point she hoped her anger had not subsided just yet and her face was flushed because of it, so that Mihawk would not notice. 

“Then, wine tomorrow. It’s a date. You better wear a shirt, bird brain.”

“Yes, yes, Princess.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In other news, there's a chance my husband and I are finally buying a house through credit. It's outside the city and it's like... really far from his work, but we fell in love with it the minute we saw it (and because it's far from the city, it's cheap as f***, so it works for us).
> 
> I'm very excited for us, yay! It's been very dark times for me and, for once, I really hope I can get some peace of mind.


	5. The Bargain  (or in which Perona decides she can accept unrequited love)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The very detailed description of Hawk Eyes' clothes is a special gift for my dear Shikkearu, with whom I had a long talk about Mihawk's butt the other day. I hope you all enjoy.

Perona wished she hadn’t talked to Zoro before her ‘date’ with Mihawk. The young swordsman would not shut up about not getting too drunk and wearing cute underwear (as if Perona ever used anything other than cute!). She tired of telling him she wasn’t planning on even remotely hitting on Mihawk, strongly attached to her idea of keeping her feelings a tightly-kept secret. But now that Zoro had planted the seeds of curiosity in her mind, she was afraid she’d unwillingly let them grow and grow until they bloomed into something monstrous and uncontrollable. 

She wore a cute, long sleeved mini dress with thigh-high socks and a pair of platform boots, combined together with a wide-brim hat, all matching in solid blacks. She straightened her hair and then fixed it in two large braids that she tied up behind her ears, forming two big loops behind her head. Her makeup was simple, a bit of mascara and eyeliner, dark red lipstick and nail polish. She looked fine, and over all she felt really pretty, and that was all that mattered. 

“He’s waiting for you in the living room.” Zoro said with his horrid, shit-eating smile. “You look nice, I’m sure he’ll like it.”

“That’s not the point. It’s not a date, we’re just going to talk many things over in case I decide to come back.”

“You mean, _when_ you come back.” Zoro turned around to leave, ready to go to his room to catch a long nap. He insisted he wanted to knock himself out with booze and lock out the noises when things got heated between her and Mihawk. Perona decided to ignore him and finished preparing herself to go downstairs to meet her… date.

 _No, it is not a date, don’t be stupid._ Perona chided herself and closed the door behind her, holding a soft kitty doll that matched her outfit against her chest. She sighed and walked down to the living room, where she expected Mihawk to be sitting in his usual chair with a glass of wine in front of him and another empty glass waiting for her. 

However, the wine had not been served and Mihawk wasn’t sitting. Perona almost gasped at the sigh. He looked _fine_ , and Perona was already biased. He didn’t wear a long cape this time, but a vintage, crimson dress shirt with a velveteen black waistcoat, decorated with fine embroidery. The waistcoat embraced his torso beautifully, making him look slimmer and taller than he already was. He wore a pair of tight trousers that delineated his hips, backside and thighs in such a wonderful manner, that it made Perona wonder why he always used loose cargo trousers when he had so much to show off.

“Woah…” she actually let out, getting a few steps closer. “I know I said you better wear a shirt, but sir, did you hear out my advice… you outdid yourself this time, Hawk Eyes!”

“You look nice too.” He said with a slight smile.

“I feel underdressed.” She pouted. If she knew he was going to go nuts with his goth aesthetic fashion statement, she’d have put a lot more effort into her dress.

“Don’t mind. For once, let me be the one wearing a corset.”

“Oh my god, is the waistcoat corseted?!” She said, the seamstress within her jumping with excitement towards him. Mihawk turned around and showed her the back of the waistcoat. “That is such a nice piece of clothing, Hawk Eyes, where have you kept it for the past two years?!”

“In my closet, waiting for a special occasion. These are not comfortable to fight with, or they might rip open in the heat of battle.”

Perona suppressed a groan and nodded, but she was unable to hide her blush.

“And drinking with me is a special occasion?”

“It might be the last time I drink with you. Yes, it’s special.” He gestured towards the door with his head and she followed him, confused. 

She imagined that, even with all that, they’d still be drinking in the living room. Apparently, she was mistaken. When they walked upstairs, she was sure she could hear Zoro snorting loudly from behind his room’s door, but she wondered where he was taking her. When they got to the third floor, she had no more doubts. Mihawk had taken her to his own room.

Perona had been inside the room before many times. When she first arrived at the castle, she had tried to pry the door open, but couldn’t, since Mihawk had the only key and her hollows were unable to go through, for some reason. But later on, he’d lend it to her on very few occasions. Most of them were when she actually did some cleaning or Mihawk asked her to fetch something for him. This time, however, was the first she had actually been invited inside.

Besides the long king-size bed she had always envied so much, was a small lounge with a pair of couches and an ottoman, where he clearly sat to read. He had a large bookcase behind the couches and a reading lamp on the tea table in front of him, but at the moment the lights were out and a pair of candles lit the room. Besides the candlesticks, two glasses and a bottle of wine had been carefully placed in front of one another.

“I like the atmosphere.” She said, slightly nervous as they both sat down and he poured them a glass of wine. “Is this how Dracule Mihawk seduces a lady?”

“I wouldn’t know, since I’ve never brought a woman here.”

Perona gulped.

“But you should know that’s not my intention. I just thought you’d like it, since you said you liked gloom, dark things. I could not find a way to put the ‘cute’ element into all of this.”

“That’s pretty simple,” she said, laughing softly and handing him her plush kitten. “Just add some of these to the couches and bring a pair of cookies and hot cocoa and that would be enough.”

“If you come back, we can arrange that.”

“Why are you so insistent I come back? A few days ago you said you didn’t want me here, what made you change your mind?”

Mihawk shrugged. He raised his glass and Perona clinked hers against his before they both took a sip. The wine was really good, softer than she had expected since Mihawk liked dry, strong beverages. It tasted a little sweet, even.

“I don’t know if I will be able to tolerate the silence after two years of constant noise.”

“Oh… you want company, then?”

“Let’s say it’s something like that.” He admitted, tilting his head slightly. “It’s not that I don’t want to be alone. I enjoy that. But it will drive me mad if all the noise suddenly disappears. You have seen it, this place plays tricks with your mind."

"Yeah, that's something I would miss about this place…"

Perona sighed and nodded. She knew her homecoming was certain, but deep in her heart she wished she didn’t have to return. She wanted to find Moria alive and well. She wanted Thriller Bark to be in pristine condition, just as she remembered it. If not, she really wished she could at least be with her former crew for a little longer. But almost two years had passed and they hadn’t bothered to look for her, if they were still alive. 

“If noise is all you want, I’m your girl.”

“Yes, you are.” He said, and Perona drank again to hide her shame and her violent blush. She could always blame it on the alcohol. 

“Listen, Hawk Eyes. I’m not sure. I can’t promise I will come back. As things are right now, it’s more than likely that I will, but things could change in just a few weeks.”

“I know.” He said with a hushed tone and reclined his body against the back of the couch. Perona felt the urge to help him out of the corseted waistcoat, but refrained from such thoughts as her hands clenched her glass of wine. And so she drank more. “But the castle’s doors will be open whenever you need them. As long as we lay some new common rules.”

“I promise I will try to behave better if you promise you’ll be a bit more understanding with me.” Perona negotiated and to her surprise, Mihawk laughed and nodded. She smiled back. “If I’m being irrational and annoying, tell me before screaming at me. I will try to hold myself back, but… be considerate, it’s all new to me.”

“That’s more that we have ever come to agree on something. Yes, I will be more empathic with you. I know it’s hard, but I think we can manage if I’m more patient with you. Now, I will insist harder on you to do your chores and you can’t complain about them. If you do, you will be breaking your part of the rules.”

“What would be the consequences?”

“Me, losing my patience on you. And probably lots of screaming and fighting and me, making you feel bad.”

“We can deal with that, we’re already experts.”

“Which also leads me to propose something we can do to try to get along better.”

Perona gulped again and noticed she’d shifted into a very awkward position, so she sat up straight, nervous.

“I don’t think I can drink as much as you do, but this could be something nice.”

“I won’t say no to that, but I had a different idea. We will have to rearrange cleaning and cooking duties, that’s a first. And since Roronoa will be leaving, I doubt you’ll like to take up his place as my apprentice. I was going to propose we do something together, much like training was our thing.”

“Wh-what do you have in mind?” She stuttered, shifting again to place her arm against the back of her couch and resting her feet on the ottoman.

“I want to bring the orchard, the greenhouse and the garden back to life. It will save us a few shopping trips to grow some of our own food, and I bet you can make the garden as cute and nice as you like. I’m good at gardening, and as far as I’ve seen, you’re really good at caring for plants and flowers.”

“That’s a really nice plan, but… do you think the humandrills will leave it be?”

“If we work together, they will. They are violent because they’ve learned from me and Roronoa. They can learn to be kind and careful from you.”

“I am neither of those things.”

“For most things, you’re not. But when it comes to taking care of others, you are.” He drank the last drops in his glass and poured some more in both of their glasses. 

“Fine. If I come back, we will make our home bloom.”

“It has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?” Mihawk said with a smile, and Perona nodded. 

Yes, indeed it did. Home sounded like a wonderful word when all she had left were ruins to go back to. Someone to return to sounded like a dream she could make come true, if only he truly wanted her there other than to kill his own loneliness. Perona knew she was his better than none, and it hurt. If he could choose which one to keep him company, Mihawk would probably pick Zoro over her without hesitating, even if they both wanted each other dead. 

But even if it hurt, she didn’t care much. He wanted her to come back and was willing to put up with her antics as long as she helped him with these new goals that actually brought benefits for both of them: Mihawk could have his gardening hobby fulfilled and Perona could enjoy and bring some cute things into the castle’s grounds. She knew she was going to return because she had nowhere else to go, but now she wanted to do so because she had someone to come back to. 

She had someone who needed her help and who offered her shelter, sustenance and protection. She was really fortunate for all that Mihawk did for her, and now that she saw it from the perspective of possibly finding herself completely alone if she didn’t come back, she learned to appreciate it all.

Perona thought of part of her plan that consisted of never returning to Kuraigana so that her fleeting feelings for Mihawk would eventually vanish, but then she noticed she didn’t want them to disappear. She knew the swordsman would never return her feelings, but her unrequited love didn’t hurt as badly when she knew he was eager to have her back in his home and that they had a purpose together. It hurt to think he’d never see her as anything but a guest in his castle, as his assistant or as a convenient friend, but Perona didn’t care much as long as she could be close to him. 

Perhaps he’d never lay his fingers on her skin or she’d never kiss his wine-stained lips. She wouldn’t dare to try, scared of ruining everything she’d gotten up until that evening, but ah, how she wished she could. The Ghost Princess wanted both her fantasy and reality to find a common place, one to which she could return. She wanted him to welcome her with open arms, both in literal and figurative speech. But at the moment, simply accepting that her feelings would not vanish and that she could make do with them as long as she remained by Mihawk’s side was more than enough.

Mihawk would never find out. It wasn’t necessary. It was best if she kept her mouth shut and her hands busy, so that her mind would not run rampant and cause her more trouble than necessary. Perona chuckled against her now empty second glass of wine and silently asked her drinking partner to pour her a third.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got some cool ideas for a new AU, and may heavens save my soul cause I don't know when will I end all the other wips I have left. Without givig out too many spoilers: Perona knows how to wield fencing swords. I think I will do a wip masterlist on the sideblog...


	6. The Depression  (or in which Perona feels homesick and Mihawk hates the silence)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had forgotten today was Wednesday :O
> 
> Perona's part was inspired by a dream I had some months ago, in which she was running away from someone in a very beautiful, colorful town with cute little shops. 
> 
> Anyway, here's the update.

Zoro parted with the rest of the Straw Hat Pirates five days ago. Perona sailed away from Sabaody Archipelago as soon as she had the chance, hidden in Shakky’s bar at first while things calmed down in the town and the marines went away. Also, the rumors of slave hunters ran rampant and Perona decided not to risk her neck so recklessly. She wandered off at sunrise, when most of the bounty and slave hunters were either claiming their prices or fast asleep in the various inns around the mangrove, so nobody would notice her as she made her way towards the horizon. 

From then, she fixed her log pose and sailed back from where she came for, following the track of an old eternal pose she had that would easily take her home. Back to Thriller Bark. Each day, she altered the course a bit to make an emergency stop at a nearby island, to rest and make any necessary shopping. 

So far, her stops had been in very humble, lonely villages, but the last day she managed to stop at a very cute, lovely town right outside of the Florian Triangle. For all the information she could gather, the town had made a fortune recovering flotsam from lost ships that wandered around the sunless mist, picking up treasure and bounty for years. Thus, the town was colorful, prosperous and wonderful. Perona wasn’t even that impressed that most of the shopkeepers of the city’s shops were women, since most of the explorers and scavengers surely were the husbands that went out to the sea in search of gold and treasures to bring back home.

Most of the women were accompanied by their children, some others talked with elderly ladies that enjoyed their time by the sun in the afternoon. Some of these women were pettite and frail, but seemingly crafty with their hands. Others were strong and wore leather armour, which made Perona guess the town was never defenseless even if the men were gone. 

She liked the town. It was bright and cheerful and had cute shops in every corner. Since most of the population were young ladies and girls, plush shops and cloth stores abounded there. The baking shops, cute cafés and colorful candy shops were just as beautiful as the ones she usually saw in books and magazines from important kingdoms and big cities. 

Perona seemed to fit right in with all of them. If one more girl suddenly appeared into town, she surely wouldn’t be asked why she was alone or where she came from. Thanks to Master Moria’s protection, Perona had never had a bounty poster, thus she was safe to not be persecuted by marines at any point. She could even make use of her powers to keep the place safe for everyone around her. If she was perseverant enough, she could make a living sewing toys and clothes, or baking pastries and cooking candies for little girls and young maidens like her. 

But Perona knew that wouldn’t be enough.

The Ghost Princess rented a room at a very beautiful inn close to the shore. Her room was on the third floor and the sea could be seen from her bedside window, where the large mass of fog and mist clouded the remains of her former home. Other than that, the sunset in the horizon painted the sky in beautiful colors and bathed the cobblestone streets below with a magnificent light. She wished she could stare at it forever, but the impending feeling of loneliness, that she was missing something, invaded her quickly. No matter how beautiful, special or unique that place was, it would never be enough. _He_ wasn’t there with her.

Perona sighed, looking at the many shopping bags she had taken with her and wondered if she could carry them all in her small boat on her way back home, wherever it was, or if she should return the items and perhaps come back later when she had someone else to carry the bags for her. A smile drew itself on her lips, as she imagined herself strolling around the colorful cobblestone streets along with a certain tall, dark and handsome man, hand in hand as he complained about her shopping habits.

_Damn it…_

She really wanted to go back to Mihawk. At that point, Perona was certain she’d go back to Kuraigana, no matter if she found Moria sitting in his favorite resting spot and he begged her to come back home with the Thriller Bark pirates. Not even the cutest, safest town in the entire world seemed to charm her enough if it meant she had to leave him forever.

And still, she had second thoughts about coming back. Perona knew she could never let her beloved swordsman know. She knew Mihawk would never return her feelings, or if he did, by any strange turn of destiny, Perona knew they couldn’t be together. He was 18 years her senior, a warlord and a pirate. She was… just a dumb girl with strange Devil Fruit powers. Mihawk could have anyone in the world if he wanted… Why would he ever want someone like her?

A week ago Perona was certain she wanted to go back. She left most of her clothes and her belongings inside a box beneath her bed, unbeknownst to Mihawk. She thought she’d sail right back after seeing Thriller Bark was inhospitable and in ruins, and she’d go back and land in his open arms. But now she hesitated, because she had been so sure she could live with her unrequited feelings, being in love but never loved back. 

Now Perona knew she wouldn’t take it. She wanted him with her, enjoying a romantic view in their bed as the night fell by their window. She wanted to kiss his brow and let him rest in her shoulder after tiring hours of working their land together. She wanted to hold his hand while walking through colorful cobblestone streets, to kiss his lips as they laid down in bed and made sweet love, before parting towards their next, unknown destination next morning. And she couldn’t take it if she had to keep all her desires quiet. 

When she came back… if she came back… she had to let her feelings out. Mihawk had to know. Perona knew her love would never vanish, it would never disappear. Because, she didn’t know when or how, it had stopped being just a simple, stupid crush.

_But what will I ever say to him?_ , the girl thought, undressing from her daytime clothes and changing into a comfy, pink nightgown. She then lay in the comfy bed, covered up to her chin with a warm blanket, but completely awake as insomnia and anxiety filled her thoughts. For once, she wanted him out of her mind, of her heart, so that she could catch a rest, but Mihawk seemed to have decided to stay there until she sorted out her feelings. Around 3 am, her tired eyes finally gave in, and Perona couldn’t help but dream of holding hands and sharing silent kisses in the dead of night, in a little, colorful town with cobblestone streets in the middle of the vast blue sea.

* * *

Mihawk hated it. Even the Humandrills seemed to be missing Perona and Zoro that they’d not screech at random hours in the middle of the night. The silence was deafening and it was driving the swordsman mad. Few parts of the castle were built with ancient wood, and those were the only things that creaked in the evening, when the weather turned colder. But other than that, the only noise that Mihawk got to hear for the next few days was the sound of his own steady footsteps as he haunted the halls of his own castle. 

He stared at his reflection in the bathroom mirror as he trimmed his unkept beard with a steel straight razor he had been sharpening earlier that day. It had been more than a week since they left the castle and Mihawk had not groomed himself ever since, thus the shaggy beard and the unruly mustache started to bother him as he drank his morning coffee. However, he had no motivation or energy to move from bed until late in the evening to fix himself. 

He hated the baleful look his reflection gave back at him, which turned into frowning in a split second. He didn’t need pity, not even from himself. He was fine on his own… or so he thought.

The swordsman cleansed his face with a swift movement from the blade to clear the shaving cream from one of his cheekbones, and then proceeded to work on the left side of his face, to make it even. Then, a sudden sting blinded him and he saw red for a few seconds, only to see actual red smeared all over his fingers. He had cut himself. Mihawk hadn’t cut himself while shaving for years. He was a master swordsman, and not any simple master swordsman, but the very best there was. A stupid razor should not even be able to cut him, and yet…

He cleaned the wound and rubbed some cream on it to help it scar quicker, thankful that the small mark it’d probably leave would be covered by his beard when it grew back to its usual length. Still, the swordsman was slightly stirred. His frown deepened and he sighed in defeat, carefully trimming the rest of the facial hair so that he’d not cut himself again. Once he was done, he combed his hair back with his fingers and picked up his discarded shirt from the wooden bench he kept besides the bathtub and dressed himself only to return to his bedroom to resume his napping.

Mihawk was about to crawl back into his bed when he noticed there was a little black doll resting on his sofa. He remembered Perona had given it to him a few days ago, before she left, and told him he could add some small details like that to make things cuter around his room. He didn’t think the makeshift kitten was cute at all, but after all, he wasn’t very good at judging cuteness. He didn’t want to fetch the plush, so he decided to let it rest untouched where it was, waiting for its owner to come back and claim it, eventually.

Somehow, Mihawk found himself back in bed unable to sleep, staring at the long curtains of his four-post bed until late at night. For some reason he couldn’t stop thinking of the clanking sound of swords, annoying laughter and pink locks of hair wrapped around his fingers. He hated it. Insomnia kept him awake until late-night hours, so much he decided to go back into the kitchen to fetch himself a cup of tea to help him soothe his nerves. 

Doubtful it would work, he went downstairs dragging his feet and rubbed his tired eyes. But instead of going towards the stove, where the kettle lay cold and forgotten since the night before, Mihawk ended up inside Perona’s mostly empty bedroom. There were a few discarded clothes inside her messy wardrobe and a couple of plush toys lumped down besides a wooden chest, which was open and empty. If it weren’t for all that and a strange suitcase that she’d left behind beneath her bed, Mihawk could believe she’d taken all her possessions and she wasn’t planning on coming back, much like Zoro had left behind a perfectly barren room.

However, noticing there were still many of her belongings in the house gave Mihawk a sliver of hope. He hated it. He hated he was actually hopeful she might come back and break the silence, because he never believed there would be anything more annoying than her laughter and her jarring screams demanding constant attention. Apparently, silence was capable of driving him crazier than Perona ever would.

Unsure of what had brought him there, Mihawk turned around on his heels to head for the kitchen, but then turned around again and opened the door to Perona’s still unfixed private bathroom. She had done some shaky repairs during the last days she was there, because the sink and the tub were clean and functional since the last time he checked. However, there was still a lot of work to be done. 

When he walked back into her room, he also noticed she had bought herself a second-hand sewing machine she had been trying to repair, to no avail. And then it hit him, such a nice, kind idea that it didn’t seem something Mihawk would do at all. Perona would surely love to have her bath fully repaired when she came back, but she’d also be thankful if Mihawk fixed up a studio just for her, inside one of those large rooms that hadn’t been used ever since he claimed the castle many years ago.

That is, if she ever came back.

Insomnia wasn’t making him think rationally, after all, it was long past midnight and Mihawk was cleaning tiles and fixing pipelines for a woman that might never return to live with him in a creepy, gloomy island full of angry monkeys and a maddening silence. But the mere idea of her big bright eyes shining with excitement as she looked at her large studio for the first time, was something that gave Mihawk motivation and something akin to hope that made his bored heart beat a little faster.

He hated it very much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've not been feeling well lately. So many things are happening at the same time it's becoming overwhelming and I've been very anxious as of late. One Piece has somehow been my escape from the current state of events, but for a few days now, I've not been feeling great that not even my hyperfixation seems to be helping. There's one update left for this work, but I might take a little break from the other fics until I feel a little better. I hope you understand.
> 
> Let me know if you enjoyed the chapter!


	7. The Acceptance (or in which Perona confesses her not-quite-unrequited love)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Perona returns.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update, here's the last one. It's short, but sweet.

Perona had spent some days in Thriller Bark trying to gather some of the remains of what was once her room, but her chambers and the Wonder Garden had been completely blown away when Bartholomew Kuma attacked the victorious Straw Hat Pirates two years ago. Fortunately, she was able to find some of the remains of her friends and servants and she gave them some sort of burial, or at least she thought a shallow grave was better than being left to rot in the open air. At least, some of them were still partially there to bury. The other zombies were not so lucky.

When she finished the job, Perona went back to her little boat and cleansed herself with sea water and rushed towards Kuraigana without making any more stops until she finally reached home. She needed to clean herself, because Perona felt she smelled of dirt and rotting flesh. When she docked on the northern shore, she tied up her boat and ran towards the castle as if someone was chasing her. In part, she wanted to see him as soon as possible, but she also wished she found him later on when she wasn’t feeling so gross and dirty. But as far as Perona could see, Mihawk wasn’t home at the moment. From the corner of her eye, as she rushed past the livingroom and the kitchen, he wasn’t there. Then, she ran towards her bathroom and stripped herself whole after she locked her bedroom door. 

Perona wrapped herself in a clean towel she had left in a pile of discarded clothing inside her closet and pushed the bathroom door with her foot, only to find it looked nothing like she had left it a month ago. The tiles were spotless and clean, and the drawers for towels and supplies were new. The leaks she couldn’t fix had been mended, the rust had been removed from the pipelines and the broken sink she had barely managed to stick together with plaster and glue had been replaced for a new one. There were even white, pale flowers in elegant vases placed by the windows and aromatic potted plants, which gave the bathroom a very nice smell. She frowned. Mihawk would never do all that, but it seemed it was the only plausible explanation.

There would be time to wonder why or how Mihawk had done all of that in barely a month, but for a moment, Perona had other priorities to attend to. She filled the tub and readied her soap, jumping into the water the moment it got into the right temperature. She quickly bathed herself, making sure to remove every inch of dirt from her hair, her nails and her skin. When she was done, she dressed in some fresh clothes and gathered her belongings, searching for any clues that could tell her of Mihawk’s whereabouts. 

Perona deduced he couldn’t have gone to a nearby town to do some groceries since the bags they usually carried around to make the trip were still inside the pantry where she’d left them from the last time. He wasn’t in his room and he wasn’t in the orchard either, Perona noticed with some help of her reckoning Hollows she had sent to look after him. Just as she thought he might have been summoned to Mary Geoise for a meeting with the government, she walked by the room where Mihawk kept Yoru whenever he wasn’t carrying the sword on his back. The black longsword rested on its spot, which meant the swordsman couldn’t be far away from her.

“Hawk Eyes?” She called, entering the room where the sword rested. Her footsteps echoed in the cold stone, but it was the only noise she could hear at the time. Nobody answered back. “Hawk Eyes, where are you?”

She walked outside the room and back upstairs, then she walked back down and knocked on his door, but he didn’t answer. Perona couldn’t sense him being inside, so she kept moving for what felt like hours. He wasn’t in the library, in the sparring room, in the guests bathroom or the dining room. It could only mean he was either hiding somewhere he didn’t want to be seen, or he was somewhere Perona hadn’t thought before. But he _had_ to be somewhere around the castle… so she kept searching.

“Mihawk!” She sang his name when she reached the lower floor, raising her voice towards the grand staircase in hopes her voice would reach him, and waited in silence for a few seconds.

“You came back.” Mihawk called back, popping from behind her and startling Perona greatly. There was a certain ring of hopefulness and happiness in his voice the Ghost Girl did not forego, but decided not to dwell too much on it. It was probably her imagination.

“Where have you been? I’ve been looking for you!”

“I was working on something. Here, come with me.” Mihawk jerked his head towards the back of the castle. Perona stood idly for a few seconds, confused, since she remembered that part of their house was not only abandoned, but mostly in ruins and they had not even started to remove the debris to make the rooms on the west wing usable. “You look beautiful, by the way.”

She blushed like she had never blushed before, because Mihawk had never complimented her that way, calling her beautiful. It was nice for a change. She then followed him down the dark, empty hallway, which he had managed to clear and rearrange in a few days.

“You fixed the bathroom in my room.”

“Yes. I saw you had done some repairs and I knew I could help.”

“You didn’t know if I was going to come back. You didn’t have to.”

“I _knew_ you were coming back. This is your home, isn’t it?” Mihawk opened a large door for her and it almost took Perona’s breath away. How had he managed to fix everything in one single month, she didn’t know, she didn’t care. But the fact that he had done this for her meant more than all the words he had never told her.

Perona walked in, enjoying the weak rays of sunshine that entered through the three large windows in the back. The room was shaped as half an hexagon, the three windows that went from floor to ceiling being at the north and two stone walls to each side. The wooden door from which they came from took an entire wall of the room on itself. Inside the chamber, Perona saw Mihawk had also fixed the sewing machine she’d bought a few months ago and had placed a rack for materials besides it. In front of the machine, he had placed a mannequin for her to take measures and try the clothes she designed. Inside the room was a wide drawing board with a bunch of colored pencils and brushes and scrolls of paper were rolled beneath it. On the back, against one of the stone walls, was a large bookshelf with blank journals and new books Mihawk had bought for her, of many topics she might have mentioned once or twice she was interested in learning. 

“Y-you… you did all this?”

“Yes. I remember you said you wanted to try new things, so…”

“Hawk Eyes, this is…” she felt tears gathering around her eyes, and a bright smile split her face in two as she looked at all the details she managed to find. The more she looked, the more attentive Mihawk turned out to be, pampering her with a gift as great as her new studio.

“I knew you would come back.” He repeated, and the girl noticed his hand twitched and lingered in the air as if the swordsman planned on holding her shoulder but regretted his decision right before he touched her.

“I had to… I… listen… I need to tell you something.” Perona felt her heartbeat rushing like it was going to drill its way out of her chest. She couldn’t keep her embarrassment down, but she had so many things she wanted to tell him in that very moment that it felt wrong to keep them quiet. There was no way she could ever pay him back for such a gift and she wasn’t creative enough as to find a way to thank him that would suffice. 

“You like it?”

“Of course I like it, but it’s not that…” Perona sighed and, just as he had doubted before, she fidgeted with her fingers and hesitated whether she should touch him or not. But in the end, she did. She stretched her hand and held his fingers, coiling her index finger around his and then the others did the same. To her surprise, Mihawk followed through and held her hand for a while. 

“Mihawk, I think I’m in love with you.”

Perona breathed in deeply, waiting for some sort of reaction or harsh words coming against her, but he only gave her silence. She didn’t dare to look him in the eye, but at least it was reassuring he didn’t let go of her hand. 

“I’ve felt something very strong for you, for a long time. At first I didn’t know what to call it or how to feel about it, but… I came back because I wanted to be with you. I didn’t like it. I don’t like feeling like this and you don’t know how much this means to me… I… I love you.”

And strangely, even if Perona expected him to turn his back on her and walk out of the door, he didn’t. Mihawk simply leaned down and hugged her, burying his nose in her rosy hair and placing a single kiss on the top of her head. 

“Wh... Why?”

“We’ll sort that out later. For now, I’m just glad you’re back.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, hope to see you soon.

**Author's Note:**

> As always, kudos and comments are loved!  
> Hit me up on Tumblr: [ Midorimortem (main)](https://midorimortem.tumblr.com) | [ Ghosts-and-swords (side) ](https://ghosts-and-swords.tumblr.com)


End file.
